Sunday, March 9, 2014

List of Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery

*Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

*Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

*Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.

*Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!

*Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

*Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.

*Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

*Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

*Rats! There go the lights again...

*Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hey, the guy's got two of 'em.

*Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

*Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

*What's this doing here?

*I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

*That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!

*I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

*Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

*Sterile, schmerile. The floor's clean, right?

*Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

*And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.

*OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

*Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

*Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

*FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

*Uh oh! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

  

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